A couple of posts back, I mentioned that the wild pig population in my area of the Swamp was exponentially growing. Now they are not as big as this specimen displayed above, but whatever decided to dig up my front and side yard last night was nearly as hungry. I need to share with you readers exactly how my conversation went with my wife this morning. Let me set the scene.
I left the house before dawn this morning to go the nearby grocery store. (I had a lot to do today). When I got back the sun was already up. As I was carrying the groceries into the house I noticed the moles had dug new tunnels close to where we walk – which is unusual behavior. Then I looked off to the front yard just under the windows to the Master bedroom and I saw where it had been dug up in weird patterns. Immediately I knew the hogs had returned. You see, they furrow into the ground with their tusks and they tend to make spirals. In other areas I could see where it looked as if the grass had been dug up with a gardening trowel (or a hog’s hoof). So I entered the house saying, “The hogs are back. I’m going to go out and check on the damage.”
Now hogs are not subtle. I could plainly see that they had come up from the railroad ditches in the back and had squeezed between the bamboo trees. They had torn up the grass between the bomb shelter and my neighbor’s fence and had ventured as far as the front yard. I could tell by this hog’s prints he/she was not a big one, and there were probably no more than two hogs involved (or the damage would have been a LOT worse). I figured he looked a bit like this:
So I came back in the house and mentioned the extent of the damage to the lawn. My wife asked “How big do you think it was?”
I said, “About 120 pounds.”
She looked at me with that awesome look wives give their husbands and said, “Just how to you figure that, smarty pants?”
Now please understand at this moment all I could think about was to retort with some wise-crack. They included:
(1) “Because that was the weight listed on his driver’s license.”
(2) “Because it is still out there.”
(3) “Because the hunters along the railroad tracks saw it.”
No, I know better. I simply described the physical evidence I saw, and tried hard not to sound like Detective Colombo (look that one up in IMDB.com if it does not sound familiar. Hey I’m old).
So for that brief moment in time, this morning, I felt semi-intelligent. Not only did I predict the hogs return, but I could easily tell the size of our visitor. That moment was fleeting, however as I had a lot of work to do. Such is like in the Swamp.